Why does my narcissistic ex told me that he f*cked and sleep with other woman and then at the end says that it also happened because of me?

sadly you were manipulated and abused by the sounds of it by a very sick and sadistic person. These cluster b types - not only play with your mind but they can leave you in shambles in so many ways

All narsholes control, lust, own, and ultimately they get by in life satisting their one sided selfish desires. They operate in an alternate reality where life owes them, they feel entitled to quick fixes and if its at your expense or anyone elses due to their lack of empathy and impulse control - they cannot bond and are only myopically seeing life as something to exploit

they robbed you of time and energy youll never get back but do not blame yourself or allow him to place his bad behaviours on your shoulders.

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they have a disorder

they do not bond. The pairing is the result of entering into the game where the narshole has the play book, they make the rules and they always win. Its never really about your wants and needs - its about how they can get what they want and when they want it. Regardless of consequences

they will never give you answers and the full closure you need. You may slip off your cracker trying to make sense of it all but do not go back to them for closure.

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and really learn to be gentle with yourself

You discovered the hard way that you actually invited a monster into your bed.

life has no checks and balances no guard rails, no morals, ethics, no principles for them

I have been married for 34 years, and I found out my wife lied, and cheated a lot back before we got married. Does she not change, or is it possible she is still a cheater?

we met a person we wanted to share a life with and sadly they are incapable of giving you that simple joy.

they have maladaptive coping mechanisms and these were established long before you came on to the scene

but here is some more truth

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not to any of us. We recieved the dine n dash or hit n run and we are left picking up the pieces.

dont blame yourself or allow the narc to blame you for their bad behaviour. Their is nothing you did that made them act like this. They were broken and mesed up long before you met them. And they will go to their graves repeating clusters of toxic patterns and traits that make up their dna.

the truth is they will never be the person you wish they could or should be.

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its never easy to wrap your head around it because its not normal. Its not how you live. Its not how you love. Its not even how you would treat your toaster.

since all pwnpd are on a scale, according to where they are on the scale , the higher up or the stronger their traits they are capable of not only hurtful but criminal behaviour

their is no amount of couples therapy, prayer, or medication , group or 1–1 therapy that is going to turn the bus around. That ship has sailed and all you can do now is go no contact and begin your healing journey. Learn about hoovering and do what you have to do to to keep yourself safe

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concentrate and focus on your spiritual, emotional, mental and physical wellness now.

the good news is you can move past this and hopefully educate yourself so that it doesnt happen to you again.

the longer you pair with them …. The more damage they do and they only get worse as they age. Notice i used the word pair and not relationship? I truly believe you cannot have a relationship with a cluster b.

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Im very sorry for this experience. You are not alone. It is imperative you find a good therapist.

The true story for me encapsulated all angles from the preditor to how they come into your life as these (masked) persons as your everything and when its over you realize they are con men/women… they can be dangerous on levels you cannot imagine and how underestimating them by blowing past the red flags will leave you feeling victimized, exploited and at a loss how it went so far off the rails.

but you have all of that and more!

Is it true that people who are possessed by demons cannot see them until the demon is cast out? What is the reason for this?

you cant fix or heal them

hurt people hurt people

thats why i always tell folks i contribute my writings and answer questions to , i advise them to watch dirty john based on a true story.

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sometimes just loving a narcissist is reason enough for them to devalue you

if you go back for another round itll only be worse then the first

Why?

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now a true narc cannot handle the truth, they cant handle accountability or culpability. They project and blame shift. They thrust from a core of shame and brokeness. So hurting you is part of their pathology. They once idealized you and now they love to hate you. Does not make sense does it?

they are like a glass of champagne but after an amount of time they really are a warm beer with a cigarette butt floating in it.

drugs, porn, sex, gambling, dating sites, various aliases, various emails, various facebook profiles, fighting, chaos, drama, endless hook ups, stds, hidden familes or side relationships, phoney resumes, sunstance abuse, mind games … all of this is part and parcel of how they operate.

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so im sorry you paired with a broken man. Im sorry he failed you. Im sorry he hurt you,

go no contact. Do bot leave a crack open for them. IF he is your ex , their is a reason for that. Do not throw your pearls to a pig. You cannot allow this person near your mind or heart again no matter what he says or how you may have doubts you may feel lonely, confused. Want closure. Trust me on this

please get tested for std’s.

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you get to see cluster b bullshittery in its reality. How a victim is groomed. How it affects family, how it destroys your trust, how sixk they can be, the lies and how they take a torch to everything around them.

so when you uncover their true selves the cognitive dissonance is jarring. How can a person who says they love you be the very embodiment of a dc comics super villain?

im sorry you had to learn like me/us that Monsters we were taught, hide in the dark and under our beds. However

here is the truth. You paired with a person who wants to hurt you. He is broken and they use sex as a weapon. Sometimes they withhold sex, to punish you or they will cheat and rub it in your face. Either way they are placing and projecting their brokeness and pain and all their shame on to you

i want you to research trauma bonds